I feel like I want to cry. I'm becoming an emotional wreak. Even though I know my mom is alright, I'm just scared of everything that has been surrounding our lives for the last couple of years. Just the thought of losing someone I care about in the blink of eye makes me wonder if that is what everything is about.

We lose people as time passes by. After all, nobody is immortal. Life is limited and believe it or not, too short. Too short to have more than a taste of life. Too short to see all the kind of smiles, all the type of faces there are in this world. Too short to love beyond, to grasp the meaning of words and the beauty of putting them together in meaningful sentences.

I'm scared at the fragility of life, and after every day I live, after every day that doesn't pass me by but instead, that runs me over, I'm scared of the surprises I will encounter once I open my eyes the next morning. Not knowing what the future has in store is an almost enthralling experience. It adds spice and flavor to our hours and days, but I feel as if every surprise that has come my way has made me cry more than laugh.

Once, someone told me that we're so focused on our losses and our unhappiness that we don't realize how lucky we are to just be here. I won't argue against that. It is true. But how can you feel after so many downfalls? 'What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.' But what if you have too soft of a heart?

I have been trying to face everything with a smile on my face and be optimistic. I have learnt a lot during the last couple of years. I have grown. But it hurts me too to see how much has been sacrificed for that type of education. It hurts me to see the amount of tears that has been shed, the amount of arguments and fights that have secretly slipped in our lives and the cracks they have caused to both healing and broken hearts.

I pretend to be strong. I pretend to be tough. But I'm a coward because I hide behind a smile and a shrug of shoulders. Sometimes, all I want to do is to climb at the top of a mountain and just scream. If I could, if it was even possible, I would actually dare destiny and life to have a debate with me and argue why they should or shouldn't do something.

But that's just wishful thinking. All that is left, is to enjoy what's there - whatever that means.