ugh

I decided to post here since less people view this journal, and because I have ranted enough in my other one. 

I hate this transition period. I hate uncertainty, and I hate every rock that is on my path now. So okay, we learn from those falls, but at this point, I'm sick of falling constantly, left and right! 

*breathe*

OK. That was drama-queen me. Others have it worse. -_- Nevertheless, I just found out that the limit age to apply to the diplomatic academy has been reduced. So now, I can't even consider applying for a Ph.D. first and then do that. Because by then, I'll be way past the limit age. Another thing is, even if I apply to diplomatic academy, that'll be another year of no work (can't work while I'm diplomatic preparation school) just to take a series of exams (six in total). So no way to sustain myself. Of course, dear family would offer support, but I'm sick of always asking and asking and never providing!!! It frustrates me and it makes so incredibly guilty!  

I could always not take that path and work for a while, job hunting at this moment doesn't look pretty either. So in one way or the other, I lose--sort of. I've been looking at job requirements and tons of them make me feel that maybe I should have done business instead, or medicine, or economics. Whatever that is more lucrative. But that wasn't necessarily what I was looking for when I chose my career path! I dislike money and our dependence on it. 

So now... no job yet, no responses yet whether I'm graduating or not. Nothing. Nil. I'm like, floating in the middle of the sea and waiting for some help so I can survive. 

And to add more fun, drama. Again. -_-

Seriously. Can't I get a break? A breather? Whatever? I wish I could transform into a cloud or soemthing and be gone for a while (animals can get killed as well as flowers. Clouds, on the other hand, are just there). 

... Pardon the massive rant...

*stalks off*